The topic that I am embarking upon today is a hard one for me, but I felt the nudging of the Lord to share what I have been through.
Certainly I’m not alone or the only momma who homeschools “just one” child. And I suppose this post is not for the “just ones” but, perhaps, for everyone.
Shortly after our oldest son, Ethan, passed away in 2010, we moved to another state (we are military) and had to start over again. To be exact, we moved 7 weeks after he passed. And then we moved again 8 months after that to a new state and duty station.
The ever popular question amongst homeschool mommas, or any group of mommas really: How many children do you have? Not wanting to experience the questions of how many kids, etc… almost kept me from meeting new people.
In the homeschooling community, it is not uncommon to see mommas with at least three or more children. I think this is wonderful, because as the Lord said in His word, children are a blessing!
Perhaps it’s just me being extra sensitive, but at times I feel inadequate as a momma because I have “just one child” as some people say without thinking. And I know that almost every single momma doesn’t mean it in the way I take it, which is sometimes negatively – that having just one child is strange, and why don’t you have more? Yes. I’ve said that in my own head. I’ve cried. But it’s I who interpreted it negatively.
When you think about it, it’s very easy within the homeschooling arena to get hung up on kids and having a lot of them. Dozens upon dozens of books are written to “large families” and “how to manage a large household” and such. Even in the blogging arena, many blogs are for those of large families. When we are exposed to this over and over again, it’s no wonder sometimes the “just ones” are the weird ones.
We’ve been trying for over a year now to have another baby. Each month brings much sadness. However, the other day I really stopped to think about the gift of having two beautiful, healthy boys. Though one of my sons is no longer here with us on earth, he is with Jesus. And my other wonderful and funny and awesome son that is still with us – I have come to appreciate him more and more.
Sometimes we need to stop and remember what God has given us. We are adequate as mommas even if we have “just one” child. Please don’t limit yourself on homeschool activities because you feel awkward or different. You are loved and wanted in the group – and if you are not, then the Lord will lead you elsewhere. This is something I have had to overcome and need to remember and apply to my own life.
Today, would you challenge yourself to be careful what you say to others? We never know another person’s situation, and it’s awfully easy to judge a book by its cover, when we haven’t a clue what the contents are within its covers.
He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction. Proverbs 13:3 (KJV)
Are we destroying ourselves by opening up our mouths too quickly or too often? Are we being good listeners? When we are in a group setting, are we really listening to the new mother, father, and/or child we are meeting – internalizing their name – or are we just hearing what we want so we can talk more about ourselves? Convicting indeed.
Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Philippians 2:3 (KJV)
And on the contrary, let’s also make sure that we are not asking inappropriate questions of the larger families, such as: Will you have more (children)? Do you believe in birth control? Isn’t it expensive?
Let’s see one another for who we are, brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s not about the size of the family, but that rather, we are all children of God.