Making Time for Hubby

Homeschooling moms everywhere know that we’ve got more than a full-time job. Teaching our children, caring for our family, managing our household, and doing everything else that life requires can make it easy to overlook a very important person in our life…our husband!

All too often I am guilty of falling into the trap of putting the kids (and other stuff) ahead of him. He doesn’t complain, but I know that he feels respected and loved when I make an effort to set aside time for him. And by time, I don’t mean a quick conversation as we pass each other in the hall or a few hasty thoughts shared over the cell phone as he drives home from work. I’m talking about intentionally carving out real, in person, sit-down-and-be-together kind of time.

Not only does this strengthen our marriage, but I am a better wife, mother, and overall person when I stay connected to my husband. We are both healthier parents for our children when we are regularly taking time out for each other. Bottom line…the whole family benefits when Mom and Dad are making their marriage a priority.

I am most definitely not a marriage expert, and believe me, my marriage is far from perfect, but I do want to share a few ideas for making time for your husband. These are things that have worked for our lifestyle and routine. Maybe some of these will work for yours too, but if not, hopefully they will at least be a springboard for you to come up with some ideas of your own.

• Date Night – It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. In fact, if you absolutely cannot get a sitter, you don’t have to leave home. Together with your husband choose a date, put it on  your calendars, and do not let anything get in the way of it. Communication is key here. Make sure that you’re both on the same page with this, and then make it a habit. Weekly dates are fabulous if you can manage it, but at the very least shoot for twice a month.

• Meet-N-Greet – When your hubby comes home from work, try to meet him at the door with a hug, a kiss, and smile. Even if you’ve had a terrible day yourself, try to set the tone for your husband’s time with you and the children by showing him that you’re glad he is home. Who knows, maybe your smile will bring cheer and encouragement not only to him, but to yourself as well.

• Couch Time – Choose twenty minutes during your daily routine in which you and your husband can sit down on the couch together and just talk. (Try to stop laughing long enough to hear me out.) This is a time to ask him about his day and tell him the positive stuff about yours. And if you’re hubby is the handsome, silent type (i.e. not very chatty), then just sit and enjoy relaxing on the sofa together. Before attempting couch time it is imperative that you hold a family meeting to explain it to your kids and to establish some ground rules for them. If your children are younger and still at the stage where they don’t want to leave your side, that’s fine. They can play, look at books, etc. down on the floor, but they are not allowed on the couch and they can’t interrupt Mom and Dad’s conversation. These rules may sound harsh, but kids need to learn that they are not the absolute center of our universe. Children draw security from seeing Mom and Dad spending time together and putting each other first. You might have to start out with five minutes and work up to twenty, but my guess is that your kids will eventually adjust, and “Couch Time” will become a natural part of their day and hopefully a highlight of yours!

• Get off the computer – I know. This one is ironic seeing how you’re reading this article online and all. We all know by now that the internet has the ability to help us and to hurt us. It’s all about balance, and each Mom has to figure out for herself what is a healthy amount of time for her to be on the computer. That said, I try to save my computer time for when my hubby isn’t around or for when he’s doing something else. If the kids are in bed and neither he nor I have anything we’ve absolutely got to get done, I try my best to close up the laptop and focus on him.

• Love Notes - This one isn’t face-to-face time, but nonetheless, it lets your hubby know you are thinking of him. I like to slip short notes into my husband’s flight case before he leaves for work. Nothing fancy, just a simple “I love you”, “I’ll miss you”, or “I’m praying for you today.” He always mentions them to me when he gets home, and I can tell that my little scribblings make him feel special.
  

Again, these are things that have worked for me and my husband. I would love to hear what works for you!

Blessings on your marriage,

Tagged as: children, Encouragement, family, Marriage, parenting