Letter from an Imperfect Homeschooler

It must be that time of year, because I’ve gotten several emails in the last couple of weeks from stressed out, burned out homeschool moms. And what is the question I get over and over?

“How do you do it?”

Simple enough question, right? But let’s look at what that question isn’t saying. It’s implying:

You appear to have it all together. I don’t have anything together.
You appear composed and well-adjusted. I feel frazzled and stressed out.
You know something I don’t know.

The truth is that the blogosphere can be both a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing in so many ways. How else could we have a glimpse into what can otherwise be only an intimate family setting? When homeschool bloggers share their lives and their days, it can inspire us, teach us, motivate us and give us ideas to which we would otherwise never see.

But I ask my other homeschool mom colleagues – what are you projecting into the blogosphere?

It’s easy to share the successes and triumphs in our homeschool days. We have been conditioned to speak positively, think positively and always put our best foot forward. This is, inherently, a Good Thing. But it doesn’t always reflect our realities.

The truth is neither you nor I always have it together.
We both have moments of feeling frazzled and stressed out.
We both think someone else knows more than we know.
We both think some other mom is doing a better job than we are, and we feel inferior.
And some days we all feel defeated.

But very few of us share those ugly moments with the blogosphere. And that leads some of our readers to feel like they must be the only homeschool parent who is burned out, stressed out, a little disorganized or still learning what works best for their children and for their families.

Be careful what image you project into the blogosphere.

Of course no one wants to read a blog that talks day in and day out about failures, frustrations and hurdles. But it is a disservice to the homeschool community if we project perfection. Our goal, as a community, should be to lift each other up, rally around each other… even in spite of, or perhaps because of, our imperfections.

Many of us are trying so hard to prove that homeschool is not only a viable option, but a worthy option, for educating our children that our protective defenses won’t allow us to admit that our homeschools are imperfect. But they are. Don’t mistake imperfection for unworthy. My own k12 experience is a sieve. I graduated with gaps and holes. Yet, somehow I managed to grow into a wife and mom and writer and graphic designer and reader and… you get the point. My parents paid good money for my private education – my imperfect private education. The public schools? Anyone who watches the news knows America’s public schools are imperfect. And perhaps this is a news flash, but homeschool is imperfect, too.

Don’t rake me across the coals for saying what the whole world knows. Your children will graduate from homeschool with gaps. Private school children will graduate from school with gaps. Public school children will graduate with gaps. So if we all know this is true, we can stop projecting perfection and start finding ways to help support the moms who are feeling disorganized, frazzled and inferior. There is strength in numbers. The fewer of us who throw in the towel during our homeschool experience and allow defeat, the stronger our forces will be. Once we are recognized as a worthy and viable education option, fewer of us will have to try so hard to prove it.

So, to all the stressed out imperfect homeschool moms out there – let me end with this:
You are worthy.
You are giving your children a viable and valuable education.
In spite of, and perhaps because of, your imperfections, your children will graduate. They will find jobs. They will have families.

And most of them will find success in whatever way that success is defined for them.

Many blessings in your imperfect journey,

You can visit my imperfect homeschool by visiting Life With My 3 Boybarians.